Hair and the Poet...DUO
by Moi -D
Summary: If you want to believe that Duo is intelligent, then DO NOT read this! ~_^ Lalalaa....U want more info? TOO BAD.


Disclaimer: When I own Gundam Wing, or anything related to it, you'll be the first to know! Okie dae? (I don't own Jar-Jar Binks, or Star Wars either)  
  
Reactions Of The Gundam Pilots....A Collection Of Short Clips Of Violence, And Bloody Murder.  
(Boy, It sure was a pain to capitalize all those words in the title.....)  
  
By Moi ô¿ô  
  
  
Chapter 1  
Duo's Reactions.  
  
Scenario 1, Duo Reacts To Tangled Hair......  
  
It is 6:30 in the morning when Duo prances noisely down the halls to the bathroom. It is usually 8:00 by the time he's finished, but today is just a tad different...  
  
Duo(from the bath room): WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Heero: *lurches half-awake, into the bath room* What is going on?  
  
Duo: :( :( :( :( :( Hee-Chaaaaaaan! Help Duo! *shows Heero a lock of his hair, which has an unusual knot in it*  
  
Heero: *slams the door, and lurches back to bed*  
  
Duo: I guess I'll have to do this myself....*walks downstairs, and looks under the sink* Hmmm there's gundanium cleaner.....turpentine...lighter fluid.....*GASP!!!!!!!* A ballooooon!!! *picks up the "balloon," which is suspiciously white, and even more suspicously comes in its own package*  
  
Duo runs back upstairs with the "balloon" and the turpentine, fills the "balloon" with helium, and comes back down when everybody has awakened.  
  
Duo: *marches downstairs, in his usual clothes, with his hair untangled, braided, and hanging in the air by the "balloon"*  
  
Quatre: What smells like turpentine?  
  
Wufei: *spits out his coffee* MAXWELL!! If you go outside like that, then I'll KILL you!  
  
Duo: But I think the balloon in my hair gives me style!! ^_^  
  
Heero: Duo, that's NOT a balloon....  
  
Duo: *beams* What is it then Hee-Chan?  
  
Heero: Its a condom.  
  
Duo: *blink* Really? Ya know, I always thought they were smaller. See you guys later. I'm off to go to the mall!  
  
End Scenario 1.  
  
Scenario 2, Duo Reacts To Being Slapped By Inspiration.  
  
Chocolate chip cookies, Mountain Dew, and unknown cosmic forces are what kept Duo up at 3:45 AM that night....He ran in circles, for a while, only to have inspiration slap him in the face.  
  
Inspiration: Ok, Now its time to get you to do something constructive, Duo Maxwell. *slapps Duo in the face*  
  
Duo: Itai!!!.......Heeeyyy!! *runs up to Heero's room, and grabs the famous "Yuy Laptop"*  
  
Laptop: Password is required.  
  
Duo: Hmm...how about *clears his throat* Omeo o korosu.  
  
Laptop: Access denied.  
  
Duo: Crud....ummm *clears his throat* Mission accepted.  
  
Laptop: Access denied.  
  
Duo: Man! Ok, one last try. *clears his throat* Duo Maxwell is the best in the world, 10 to 1.  
  
Laptop: Access granted.  
  
Duo: O_o  
  
Laptop: Welcome, Heero Yuy.  
  
Duo: Open notepad, computer.  
  
Laptop: Notepad open.  
  
Duo: Hmmm stories take too long to write...so poetry sounds good!! Ok...*begins to type*  
  
"The days of  
  
Duo: *sits there and thinks for a while, before typing more*  
  
"The days of death  
  
Duo: Wow!! Great so far!!  
  
"The days of death and judgement are inevidable for all you stupid heads!"  
  
Duo: Hmm not quite what I wanted....ok, time to start a new one.  
  
"And so in the depths of the  
  
Duo: Of the..........  
  
"And so in the depths of the great cavern, I saw the banshee.  
Her name was Relena. She was butt ugly."  
  
Duo: This really stinks.....I need help!!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: *is still asleep* Zzzzzz.....help?....help is not needed for the perfect soldier...zzzzzz.  
  
Duo: Boy...he's always on that suject isn't he? Hey computer! Access me some poetry making websites!  
  
Laptop: Accessing..................Downloading poem helper.  
  
Duo: Alright! This computer really is efficient.  
  
Laptop: Download complete.  
  
Duo: Ok! *opens the program and fills in the blanks for his subjects*  
  
Title: Darkness  
Author: Duo Maxwell  
1. Winner Mansion.  
2. Oogly Relena Piececrap.  
3. Sexy Duo Maxwell.  
4. No Light.  
5. Under the bed.  
6. Perfect Soldier.  
7. Itai!  
  
Laptop: Processing poem..........Complete. *the poem is displayed*  
  
Darkness  
By  
Duo Maxwell  
  
"Night at the no light is under the bed."  
"Winner mansion brick, brick, brick, square."  
"Sexy Duo Piececrap. Oogly itai!"  
"Perfect Relena Maxwell, light, light, forty-two."  
"Soldier under the bed. Itai! No bed."  
"Relena Mansion."  
"Winner."  
  
Duo: !!!!!!!!! What the hell?!?! *lets his head drop on the keyboard in frustration*  
  
Laptop: Self destruct sequence has been activated.  
  
Duo: O_O Ack! *picks up the laptop, and runs in a random direction*  
  
Laptop: 10 seconds.  
  
Duo: *tosses Heero's treasured laptop into Wufei's room, and closes the door*  
  
KA-BANG!!!!!!!  
KA-BOOM!!!!!!  
CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!! *runs up and opens his door, to find Duo standing there with a sheepish look on his face* I will KILL you Maxwell!!!  
  
Duo: *blink* Want some ice cream Wu-Man?  
  
Wufei: NO! I want you DEAD!!  
  
Duo: *blink* *blink* *blink* *blink* *blink*  
  
Wufei: What!?  
  
Duo: *sugar crashes, and falls on Wufei*  
  
Wufei: Injustice.......Someone HELP! YUY!! Get your stupid koi off of me!! YUY!!!  
  
Heero: Zzz....the Perfect Soldier has no koi.....zzzzzzz...  
  
Wufei: Nataku help me......  
  
Duo: *dreams happy dreams* ^______________^  
  
End Scenario 2.  
End Chapter 1 ô¿ô!  
  
  
  



End file.
